For most club players across the country tryouts are over and you’ve either made your dream team or you haven’t.
Maybe some of you made your dream team and you’re flying high, feeling all the confident feels (feelings) in the world. Or, maybe you made your dream team and now the doubting thoughts are kicking in (“uh oh, am I actually good enough to be here?”).
Maybe you didn’t make your dream team and you’re taking it hard. The thing is…it doesn’t really matter which of those boats you’re in. This post is for all of you. It’s even for all of you who made the team you’ve been playing with for multiple years. This post is for anyone who has ever doubted themselves or their ability.
Let me ask you this question: where does doubt come from? Like always, please actually take a minute to think about this question before reading onward…maybe even write your answer down in your journal.
What did you write down? Where does doubt come from for you?
If you’re like the majority of the people I work with, your answers look or sound something like this:
-Past failure or loss or bad performances
-Other people telling me I can’t
-Me telling me I can’t
-Seeing someone else fail
-Seeing someone else succeed, but that person is way better than me
-Past inexperience – I don’t know what I’m doing, I’ve never done it before
-Not being prepared
-Feeling unfit or unready
Okay good. Let’s leave that right there for now because I want to flip the question.
Where does confidence come from? Like always, take a minute to think about where confidence comes from for you and jot down a note or two.
If you’re like most people I work with, your answers probably look or sound like a few of these below:
-Past success or wins or good performances
-Other people telling me I can
-Believing in myself
-Seeing someone else succeed
-Seeing someone else succeed who is less skilled than me, so I know I can do it
-Other things I’ve done that are similar
-Feeling fit and ready
Here’s the thing. These two lists, the list of doubt and the list of confidence, are essentially the same. The answers can be categorized into the same 4 groups:
-Past experience (things I have or haven’t done; times I have/haven’t succeeded)
-Vicarious experience (watching other people)
-Verbal persuasion (things I say to myself and things others say to me)
-Physical state (my fitness, health, nutrition, sleep)
So…what’s the difference? How or why can something either make you more confident or more doubtful?
You’re probably onto me at this point: it’s all about how you think about it. And that’s exactly my point. Here’s my next question: are you thinking in a way that is generating confidence or fueling doubt?
Much of the time, the way we interpret success and failure is related to the stories we tell ourselves (see previous post). Part of retraining our brains to tell more successful stories and to be more helpful in general is to break it down and retrain our brain in specific areas.
TODAY'S JOURNAL WORK
People often believe that confidence is just a thing that is developed over time. While that can be true, it can also be developed faster if we are more deliberate about our thinking. Your homework today is all about deliberately retraining your brain to generate confidence more than fuel doubt.
To help you with that endeavor, I've got another downloadable worksheet for you (click on the image below to download).
Hi! I'm PK. I am an Ultimate player, spouse, parent, and human performance coach. My passion and my profession is to help individuals and teams perform at their best through research-based mental skills, resilience, leadership and team dynamics training.
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